in the still of the night….

I guess it’s another sleepless night for me.  For the past couple of weeks I haven’t been able to sleep well and I find myself wide awake until 3 -4 in the morning. I take no naps during the day and I’ve even taken myself off caffeine, and I still can’t find an explanation.  So I decided to get on here and let my mind wander.

I have to say I’ve been rather content lately. There’s something about just knowing that God is in control and being able to rest in that that changes all of life.  I’m in the middle of job searching, both vehicles are on the down and out, apparently the government is shutting down (and therefore possibly affecting paychecks) –  and it feels so good to not stress about any of it.

I’ve enjoyed waking up and knowing that God once again has brought the sun to shine on the day; eating breakfast and thanking Him for the food He has provided for us.  It’s just been good to be at peace and rest. I think months of sitting at home has helped me enjoy the simple things again. Although I will admit, it’s way easier for me to trust God and not worry about the things I can’t control than it is for me to trust Him when I have to make a decision. I’ll let life happen without a worry many times, but give me three jobs to choose from and I’ll probably stress about it all week. But nonetheless, my soul seems more at peace than it has at other times.

I will say though that lately my heart has started burning with the urge to jump back into people’s lives.  I find myself missing the challenge of reaching a lost heart, I miss that fight and struggle to break down walls, I miss seeing God work in the lives of young people. It’s been on my heart and mind a lot lately – but its good that it’s coming from a more rested version of me.

I guess for now I’ll stick to reading St. Augustine, Paul, and Louie Giglio, doing dishes, laundry, and writing letters. But when the time comes – I’m more than ready to plug into a place thriving with lost and guarded souls….

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